


Stress

by maskedhero



Category: Tales of Symphonia
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-23
Updated: 2014-10-23
Packaged: 2018-02-22 06:58:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2498816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maskedhero/pseuds/maskedhero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lloyd wakes with a panic from a dream. A short Zelloyd fic written to calm my nerves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stress

**Author's Note:**

> Whoops, here's another one!  
> Like the summary suggests, I started writing this while I couldn't sleep.
> 
> Warnings:  
> If descriptions of anxiety attacks or mentions of blood make you uncomfortable, steer clear of this fic. Otherwise it's pretty tame. It's pretty fluffy. It's. It's really cheesy. I'm so embarrassed.
> 
> Thank you for reading!

Lloyd woke with a start, a shout. His hands flew to his face and he touched blood- blood, blood- no, sweat, a cold cold sweat. His hands trembled, clean yet cold, pale as his face.

He threw his blanket off his legs and sat up over the side of the unfamiliar bed, trying to get ahold of himself.

Deep breath. Shaky breath. Heart beats- ten, twenty, thirty per breath- deep, deep breaths, Lloyd, through the nose, out the mouth-

His mind still flashed through dreamt scenes, the darkness just like eyelids; the moonlight through the curtains shaped like silver blades, the blood in his chest and his hands and his legs unspilled yet. The blood he saw on his hands that wasn't his.

Wringing his hands together didn't remove the stains because they weren't there. Were they? Bile and terror rose in his throat as he slid his fingers against his tingling palms over and over. His chest tightened and he felt his spirit rising from his shoulders, trying to leave, trying to GO.

"Lloyd?" A voice reached through the dark room, familiar, warm, safe. Bedsprings creaked and blankets shifted, the sound not quite drowning out Lloyd's drumming chest.

"Are you okay?" Zelos. Zelos, red and pink, his voice velvet.

Lloyd breathed, breathed, and breathed, and nodded.

"Just fine," A whisper. "I'm all right." His chest clutched at the words. Lies. His eyes burned.

"You don't sound fine." Zelos left his bed, silver blades of light guiding him to Lloyd's side. He sat, making barely a sound, and Lloyd felt sharp eyes on his hands, on his cheek, on his face.  
"You're shaking. And I can hear you breathing from across the room."

Lloyd felt his lips seize up on him as he tried to explain himself. He couldn't even swallow. His mouth was so dry. Finally, he found words.

"Bad dream," he muttered, keeping his eyes on his hands, trying not to see blood. "I'm fine," he repeated, his voice shuddering in his throat. The words didn't fit, but they had to. _Please go to bed, Zelos, I can handle this myself, you need sleep, please Zelos._

Zelos slipped his hand into one of Lloyd's. Lloyd jumped at the touch, shockingly soft skin against his calluses. Warm and dry fingers against his clammy, blood-covered palms. Lloyd pulled away; Zelos laced his fingers through Lloyd's and pulled back, squeezing.

"You need sleep," Lloyd couldn't finish the sentence before it caught in his throat, and tears fell from his eyes as suddenly as a storm. His free hand couldn't hide them, couldn't stifle the sob. Zelos squeezed hard, held one hand in two, pressed himself against Lloyd's side.

"I have dreams too." Zelos said, somewhere near Lloyd's ear, quiet, as Lloyd choked back sobs. "We all have them. I know. You can talk to me, bud." He extracted a hand to rub on Lloyd's back, and Lloyd grasped his other hand on his own.

"I killed," Lloyd took a shaky breath, "I killed and killed." He squeezed Zelos' hand tightly, staring hard, his voice strained. "So many people just died, and they had families, and friends, and I'm so sick of the blood, and- _and I'm so sick of killing_." A sob burst from his throat. He doubled over, chest to knees, overcome by the feeling of pressure and exhaustion, and the sobs kept coming.  
Zelos wrapped himself around Lloyd. He muttered soothing things, stroked Lloyd's hair. He planted a kiss at the base of his neck. The older man's weight and warmth gave Lloyd comfort.

"C'mere." Zelos slid his arm under Lloyd's chest and pulled him up. Lloyd let Zelos move him, eyes clamped shut. "C'mere, bud."  
  
They settled into the sheets together. Zelos drew his arms around Lloyd and held him close to his chest, burying his face in his hair. Lloyd entwined his legs with Zelos', desperate to be close to something. His face burned with shame and embarrasment and the tears just kept coming. He nuzzled into Zelos' chest, staining his nightshirt with tears and snot and filling it with sobs.  
  
"I'm so pathetic," Lloyd finally gasped. "I'm sorry."  
"It's not pathetic to cry. You don't gotta act all macho to impress me, honey." Zelos stroked Lloyd's neck and gently kissed his scalp. "We're all in this together. We've all seen some bad shit. We've all done some bad shit."  
The affection let Lloyd relax, sweet feelings mingling with sorrow.  
"But you do a lot of good things for everyone too, Lloyd. For every person that dies, you save ten more." Zelos' kisses trailed to Lloyd's forehead. "You're a hero. That's why we follow you."

"I'm no hero," Lloyd sniffed, wiping his destroyed face inside his tank top.  
"Hey. Shh. I'm talking here. You're a hero." Zelos wiped away Lloyd's stray tears with his thumb after Lloyd withdrew from his shirt. Lifting his chin, Zelos rained kisses on Lloyd's eyelids, and then his nose and his cheeks and finally his lips. "You're my hero."  
Lloyd snorted. "That was so cheesy."  
"I thought I'd take a page from your book," Zelos winked. Lloyd buried his face in Zelos' chest with a laugh, sniffing away the remainder of his tears.

"You've really influenced me, you know." Zelos murmured against Lloyd's head. "You helped me. So if I can help you, let me know."  
Lloyd sighed. "This. This is helping." He pressed his lips against the hollow of Zelos' neck, just above his exsphere.  
"Want to try to sleep?"  
"I... Yeah. But what if someone sees us like this?"  
"I don't care." Zelos pulled the blankets up around them. They shifted to find a good cuddling position.

Lloyd glanced at his hands. He sighed with relief. Dry and warm and clean.

Zelos watched Lloyd as his breathing grew deeper, stroked his hair, held him as his muscles relaxed into sleep. As soon as he made sure Lloyd was okay, he succumbed to slumber as well.


End file.
